Stay Independent
I’ve noticed that the people who stay independent think differently.
Maybe they have discovered the power of agency.
Agency is our capacity to choose intentionally and act in ways that influence our life’s trajectory. At its core, agency is noticing what is happening, seeing clearly where your energy should go (what matters), and taking action. It requires more discernment—fluidity and sound judgement—than determination. That’s because nothing is static. We all age differently, and each day is different, especially after age 60.
The usual response to aging is passivity and inertia. Trouble is, they creep along and we concede in millimeters. Those small choices accumulate quietly until, one day, they have become the direction our lives are taking.
Agency is a skill that helps one age better once we realize our everyday movements determine who we are becoming.
For me, agency is the education that began long before I had words to describe it. My father died of a heart attack at fifty-three. I was fifteen. Years later, my work as a wildlife biologist included collateral duties as a wildland firefighter, and that required a medical clearance and an arduous duty field test.
At age forty, because of family history, I had to pass a treadmill stress-test before the doctor would certify me for arduous duty.
Twenty-five years of worry created a body of delusional energy in my subconscious. What happened to my father became my knee-jerk imagined future. I thought, “I have thirteen years?”
Sensing my nervousness, the small-town family physician, Dr. Smith, showed up calm and collected for my nuclear stress test. He was as much a psychologist as a family physician. He helped me see, saying, “Your father’s heart attack is not your prophecy. If you live differently from your father, it is highly likely you will live longer and stronger.”
With Dr. Smit’s guidance, I matured in real time through one conversation. I observed reality—inheritance and health—and embraced what I could not change. However, I discovered I could influence my trajectory with effort.
He did not promise that I would never have a heart attack. He helped me recognize that what mattered was what I did next. That doesn’t mean I control the outcome. It means I still have influence over what happens next.
The Signal and the Story
The signal is noticing. Perhaps it’s a recent visit to the doctor, chiropractor, and / or you feel tired, slower, and recovery takes longer. You are thinking, “I don’t have the capacity that I had yesterday.”
The story is the interpretation we attach to it. Fatigue, fear, and anxiety are creations—an imagined future.
Separating the signal and story gives us room to investigate, seek help, or try a different approach. That pause, the break between stimulus (the story) and our response, creates freedom. The freedom to choose.
We know we are getting older. We see it. We feel it. But maybe most of us don’t know what our bodies are capable of.
Stay Independent With The Power of Choice
I have noticed that when you choose to engage with agency and build capacity to stay independent, strong, and vital, the body responds.
Evidence
I learned over forty years ago that a frightening biological signal differed from the story I had constructed from it. That was when I first understood that what I did next mattered.
After every lab report, a conversation with a medical professional, condition or diagnosis, you still have the next move.
Recognize what is happening and understand, you still have some influence here—that is agency!
Capacity may simply be untested, surely not gone. Run the experiment on yourself. Discover what your body can do and how it will respond.
I don’t maximize nutrition and exercise regularly because I’m afraid of aging. I’m still in love with living!
Are you bracing yourself for old age? Or are you preparing for your next adventure?
Sources for Stay Independent
Agency Is the Highest Level of Personal Competence, Psychology Today
Highlights:
Recognizing that you have agency is a step. But it falls far short of exercising agency—thinking and behaving competently and making real progress toward your desired goals.
To exercise agency is to acquire significant control over your outcomes in life’s various arenas, including aging.
Two widely studied mindsets hold particular relevance to competence and agency. To have a fixed mindset is to believe that intelligence and other personal attributes and abilities are set in stone. “I know enough, no need to learn more.”
In contrast, a growth mindset is an opening that motivates and allows you to strengthen your competence through learning. If you want to increase your agency on any task in any arena, embrace a growth mindset.
Categorized in: Art of Aging, Fly Fisher Fitness